ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
