And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
