Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
