do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
