You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
