So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
