You're completely useless in the revolution.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
