Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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