What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
