Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
