Say something about gay babies.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
