Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
