You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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