I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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