i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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