a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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