do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
