I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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