i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
