He kissed a someone with a penis
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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