We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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