so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
