maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
