She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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