please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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