I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
