He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
