How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Duck Duck Cougar?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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