i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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