I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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