watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
