today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
did i just pee glitter
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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