Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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