if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
