do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
