thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
