i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
