the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
