i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
