so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The adults are the big ones right?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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