I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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