Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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