Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
