He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
