tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
