Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
