My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
