Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
