I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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