Fuck appropriateness.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
