I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
this hospital has no fireball
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
