its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
