you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
