I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
